“Goodbye!
..... I don’t want to live and I have decided….I quit!” I read the SMS in my mobile
inbox. It came from my childhood friend Jaini. My heart almost missed a beat.
“What the hell she means by this? What is that mad girl up to? What has
happened??” All such questions started hammering my brain. I hurriedly dialed
her number…..but no answer! Twice, thrice…. I tried her number continuously but she didn’t answer my call. I checked the
time of the text…it had come more than half an hour back…I couldn’t check it earlier
as I was driving back from my daughter’s school. I was completely panic stricken. I rushed to her place. It was almost
an hour’s journey but I had no option....I couldn’t let her go!!
On the way, I called up
her mother. What I had feared had already happened. She had swallowed sleeping
pills…I kept praying for her life all the way.
“Aunty! How is she? Where
is she?” I gasped as I entered the hospital. Aunty took me to her.
She was lying disoriented
and listless on hospital bed.
“Jaini! What have you
done my dear? It’s such a scary sight to see you like this. Why did you do
that?” I couldn’t control my emotions anymore.
“I had no option left. I couldn’t
bring shame to my parents by asking for a divorce. Nikhil was my life and when
Nikhil wasn’t there…I had no reason to live”, she was weak and shattered.
“You are very weak.
Please don’t speak much,” the nurse warned her.
“Doctor has asked her to take rest. Any emotional
mess can go against her. Please let her sleep”, she whispered to me.
I came back to the waiting
lobby nervously clutching my hand bag…..
Jaini is my childhood
friend. A vibrant, fun loving, highly beauty conscious, slim, tall, fashionable.….uff
how do I describe her….she is just “neighbors’ envy, owners’ pride” types. She
was an upfront and engaging personality. She would laugh whole day, make fun of people
around her and would not listen to anyone not even her parents. She got married
to her boy friend of three years. Her married life was comfortable. I have
always seen her full of life until I met her at her mothers’ place six months
ago.
“Where is Jaini, Aunty?
She called me urgently. Is everything OK?” I asked her mother.
“No beta..Everything is
not OK. She wants to get divorced. I don’t understand what’s her problem. I know
she is stubborn but I had no idea that she will bring shame to the entire
family like this. Thank God that her father is out of town. He will kill her if
he comes to know. Please make her understand and tell her to go back to
Nikhil”, I had never seen her mom more furious.
“What is this? Are you crazy or what? This is
too much yaar. You left Nikhil’s home and …you want….Divorce?”,I yelled at her
like a typical granny but having known her for years, I was afraid that she
might have taken a decision mindlessly.
The moment I looked at
her…I was stunned. She was wearing night dress, her hair untidy which was quiet
unusual for her. She clearly looked shaken.
“Thanks for coming, would
you listen to me before passing judgments?” she demanded softly, and meekly
which again was unusual for her.
“Oh…sorry yaar. I got
carried away. But Divorce???? Why? Nikhil is such a nice man”, I shrugged.
“ I called you because nobody
else would understand what I am going through”, she held my hand and burst out,
“our relationship is over. To people this may not sound very big and genuine
but for me….its killing”
“Don’t be a fool! Ending
your marriage is not the only solution”, I urged
“It’s you who always says that we have one life to
live and if you live it in a right way- one is enough! Then what is the point
in wasting my life living with a person for whom I don’t exist at all?
“Now you are exaggerating
yaar! Tell me honestly”, I said stiffly.
“When I got married, it
was perfect. He loved me, we had fun together. I also wanted to be an ideal
wife. I also had dreams to have a loving romantic relationship with my husband.
And believe me…I tried my best”, she asserted.
“But Nikhil also has been
a dutiful man. He also takes care of you. His job is good. What’s wrong?”
“Yes ! he earns well. He
has got me a flat and a car. He pays for my food and clothes and off course for
a part time maid. Should I stay with him just because he doesn’t abuse me or
hits me? Or just because he gives me a
square meals?”
“So? What else do you want?” I shouted clearly
knowing at the back of mind that I was wrong.
“I want HIM!” she
grumbled. “I am married to him. I want his love, his attention…his time! He is
a practical man…no rather a machine. He has lost interest in me. Whatever I
say, whatever I do …does not bother him. Whether I cook or not; whether I dress
up or not….does not matter to him.. I just feel he is a different man..not the
man I married. He has become so indifferent and apathetic.
“Did you try talking to
him on this matter?” I tried to calm her.
“Many times, but he
blames me of being illogical and over demanding. He avoids any discussion. Living
with him is like living with a robot. I have been living in isolation for three
years. Nikhil is never bothered for what I need. I feel rejected… I feel
unwanted...i m terribly alone.
I could not say a word
more…….
I am telling this story
not because it is unique but because it is not. It has become the story of
every other couple.
Was this a justified
reason for the horrendous step she had taken? No reason can be big enough to rationalize
an attempt to commit suicide. Yet, this is a depressing truth that - messed up
and broken relationships become reason for thousands of suicides across the
world every year.
We all need relationships
to feel human…to feel alive. People
who have strong and loving relationships aren’t just the luckiest people in the
world, but are also the happiest people.
Managing relationships is, for some, an art to be practiced and for some, a
science to be experimented. One search for the word might touch millions of
results on Google. Theories are complicated but believe me- ‘Relationships are
not as difficult to handle as we make them.’
My one line mantra to save
and satisfy any relationship is simple. Behind every messed up relationship,
there is only one desire – “to feel valued” and that’s it! Mark it – make your
partner feel ‘you care’ and the relationship
is sorted!! You can heal any relationship; settle any argument with this mantra
- FOR SURE!
Please don’t let your
love life die an untimely death. Before it is too late…. take one step towards a
stronger, more stable and passionate relationship…...
Spend that one moment
between waiting and giving up….in making one thin effort. I assure you - it
DOES
matter but remember, the effort may be thin but feelings behind should be
genuine.
Just go and tell her,
“Sorry! I know it was my fault” Or acknowledge that her hands lost their
softness while cooking for you all these
years Or Send her a bouquet to tell her that you value the way you got
promotions while she remained a housewife or the way she sacrificed her career
to take care of your home and children….and above all – listen to her!
Make it a way of your
life, before your loved one find her way out of your life!
And don’t worry! It needs
less time than you take in updating your face book status for those who might
not be genuinely interested.
