LOL – Does that mean ‘Laughing Out Loud’- Really???

Finally, I was there, ringing doorbell of a posh bungalow owned by Sanyal family. It was indeed not a very reasonable idea to visit somebody in a scorching June afternoon but I could not hold my temptation of meeting Shashi after almost ten years. After her marriage, we had hardly met each other but thanks to facebook that we got connected once again.

As I updated that I am in her city for some workshop, she immediately called me, “Welcome to my city Madam! So, when are you coming to my place?”

“I would love to…but the schedule here is so tight. I’ll let you know if can come”, I was trying my best to sound like a busy working lady, but it doesn’t work with your childhood friends.

“Dare you go without meeting me!! she mocked…please yaar…it has been ages since we met…tujhe meri kasam”, finally came the emotional atyachaar. So I asked my co-ordinator Mr.Parveen Sharma if I could go early, to which he sportingly agreed and I took a taxi to her place after my session.

Shashi came running to open the door. Clad in royal blue salwar kameez made with some expensive looking fabric…pardon me I am really bad at this fashion stuff, she looked ‘rich’. She wore big diamonds clubbed in a chaste design in her ears, a fat gold chain, a diamond mangalsutra coupled with equally fat bangles to get her typical daily soap Bahu look. Inside, the furniture was grand shining proudly under the gigantic chandelier in her huge drawing room. Everything, right from the heavy expensive curtains and the silver crockery to the fleet of the expensive cars tucked in the garage, certified that Shashi’s parents had cracked ‘IIT’ in finding a rich and the only child of his parents for their daughter.

After a tiring session of giving my best benign smiles and exaggerated display of courtesies in front of her in-laws, we cuddled together sipping our mugs of masala chai to satisfy our hunger for knowing every detail of past ten years of each other’s life.

“My! My!….you people are rich yaar! You look like a typical sethani”, I teased her. “So? how’s life, her highness?”, I held her hand lovingly. She had tons of things to tell me. She spoke continuously about how she was a permanent fixture in elite parties and about her collection of solitaire rings and about one diamond necklace her husband gifts her every year and about the grand party Sanyals are planning to throw this Diwali and….what not? She played perfect Sridevi from Judaai.…but I could smell something. 

“Are you HAPPY??, suddenly I heard myself say….

“Hmmm….what?, she choked.“You know we are planning to send Dhruv to Doon School in Dehradun…you know naa..Rajeev Gandhi studied there…it’s the best and very expensive!!, she blurted out.

“Are you HAPPY??” I tried to bring her out of trance….but before I could realize, it was already late. Shashi had burst into tears uncontrollably.

Being happy is ,unfortunately, rare. In all these years of playing agony aunt to my friends, neighbors, students and cousins, I have found unhappy hearts at every step of my life. I’m no great philosopher who can propound great theories. But in a genuine endeavor to help my people to be happy I have tried and tested some tips. I’ll share them with you. This one is simple....

What I understand now for sure is that Happiness is an abstract word and on the contrary, human mind understands images; for instance, ‘a family of six living in one room with one stove and few utensils’….your mind will instantly label it as “poverty”. So my dear friends! To be happy first know the things, the activities and the scenes that make you smile or laugh. I love to call them ‘WOW’ moments you can call them ‘chocolate moments’( or salad moments if, by the way, you are health conscious). Make a list of your own chocolate moments and try experiencing them every day…each day…

They may be as simple as “getting a perfectly brewed cup of bed tea in BED”, and “being a silent witness to the birth of a small flower in your balcony” or “reading your newspaper in toilet” or as big as “fixing up electronics by slapping them” or “advising Sachin Tendulkar how to play cricket while watching a cricket match on T.V.” Or … getting an appreciation call from your boss or your in-laws (which I know is the rarest).

We all know for sure that we were happy when we were kids…you know why??? We have our own images to prove that. Remember?? Those sweet days when happiness was….

-Targeting one of your cousins during some family function, and bullying him telling the exaggerated version of his whimsical childhood stories and falling down laughing.

-Getting to know that it’s a holiday when you are already dressed up for school.

-Reading Champak wrapped in your text book.

-Waiting to eat your tiffin when you know it has Maggie in it.

-Laughing and giggling mischievously when parents are singing Diwali prayers.

-Tearing the wrappers of gifts greedily as soon as the guests turn their backs, after your birthday party.

-Cleaning school shoes with your pants just when they are about to be checked by your P.T.teacher.

Look...being happy was sooo…simple. It is still simple. Only we don’t recognize. We mechanically write “LOL” to a whatsapp or fb joke….but when was the last time you actually laughed out loud till your sides started hurting or you fell down rolling?

Stop for a moment each time you come across any of your ‘WOW’ moments, take a deep breath and live that moment fully…. 

And this time, actually LOL when you write LOL……

:Smriti

MY FIRST LOVE

“Oh my God! Where has this come from, after all these years?” ignoring my restlessness, the card sat smiling on my lap.

“The drink that brought us close!” read the beautiful card with a cup of tea embossed on it.

I got a kick taking me twenty years back to my first date. 

It happened when both of us were on a college educational camp in a small city college. We have been the members of a team so already knew each other but formally. 

“Can I ask you for a favor?” he asked me in his charming Pied Piper style. “Yes”, I hurriedly replied failing to hide my nervousness of a small town girl.“Can you lend me your spare…………..your spare …. “TIME?”, he fumbled. I was far too shocked to reply. I had butterflies in my stomach. Like Newton’s Law of Motion says, “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction…..,my nervousness made him feel equally confident. He bowed down signaling me to my way out and said, “Shall we? Her highness?” he was playing perfect Prince on a white horse.

And before I could actually know what was happening, I was on my first date….a long …not drive but a long walk. The whole atmosphere of this “romantic” long walk prompted me to write my own version of Shakespeare,s sonnet, “My Mistress’s Eyes are nothing like the Sun”, “My Romantic Date was Nothing like a Dream.”

We were walking through narrow marker lane of that small city crowded rather over crowded with hawkers, merchants and shoppers. Giving respect to or actually being afraid of the orthodox society, we were walking like a perfect lovey-dovey couple – keeping a romantic distance of 20 meters. We were tip-toeing like Mizo people doing Bamboo dance to avoid walking into cycles and rickshaws.

Just when we were about to enter another street, he suddenly paused at the turn to whisper, “ I m taking you to the most romantic place in the city!” Trapped in my fantasy world I activated my GPS signals to know what would “the most romantic place in the city” be like. It would be a serene side of a blue watered lake in the out skirts of the city….or may be candle lit side table of a posh coffee shop…or may be….my filmy mind went on and on…

After walking continuously for forty minutes, he stopped and gave a proud Vasco-Da-Gama smile as if he had just discovered India. “Welcome to heaven, madam! I m host for the evening.” Just then I turned to see the perfect place for the first ever date of my life- and soon I knew the reason why he was using all the flowery words from his vocabulary (party wear words – as we often jokingly call them) for this place.

It was a 4*4 Chai Shop, with a small counter covered with aluminum all over to support a stove and some utensils and three big glass jars having matthis, fainies and big cookies (typical Indian small town high tea snacks). Flames of stove had painted the nearby wall black.

A small boy clad in semi torn t-shirt and half pants appeared with a ‘gamchha’ (towel-cum- cleaning cloth) struggling hard to retain its red color. His eyes were shining mischievously,  having got a chance to witness a LIVE date without ticket. Romance was in the air.

“Chhotu!! Do Chai!”, he ordered.

Please Note there is a species of untidy small boys working on road side eating joints (despite all laws against child labor)  known as “Chhotus” in India.

“So how do you like this place? Masstt!! Hai na??” he was trying to break the ice.

Chhotu appeared with two glasses of masala Chai and placed them on the table with  as much noise as he could produce. Just then I fell in love at first… not sight but ‘sigh’ as  I inhaled  the most charismatic engulfing  aroma I had ever experienced. Tea leaves, cloves, ginger, cinnamon, cardamom- all came together to create my aroma of pure love.

“You know, only two persons who can enjoy tea together can be compatible for life time,” Mr. Newton propounded new theory of compatibility, on the spot.

Five cups tea and three hours later, we fulfilled all conditions of couple compatibility.

This Chai connection then takes me to eight years past my first date. It was another very special moment of my life.

It was my first meeting with my would- be husband. We were sitting two tables away from our families to ‘talk to each other…. ‘Privately’…in the full view of our parents.” Both of us were sitting on red sofa across a big teak wood table,, in a posh restaurant with neatly dressed waiters and elegant crockery……the candle lit atmosphere was trying its best to make our meeting romantic.

He was a young dynamic guy my father had chosen for me. “So! Madam….you are going to be my life partner. You can ask me anything you want to know about me…,” he said warmly having absolutely no idea of what ran in my mind but I was getting ready conduct my secret sure shot compatibility test on my future husband.

“How do you like your tea?” I began my compatibly test.

 “Oh! I don’t take tea at all”, he boasted, not knowing that he had failed the most important test of his life terribly.

 “I m very fond of milk, by the way!” he further threw a bomb shell. How can a man not like tea unless he is James Bond??? Only James can be excused for not liking tea; for obvious reasons……..what???  he is THE JAMES BOND…after all!!

And moreover, I had a genuine concern….How can a man, who likes white charmless, odorless milk, be a colorful and romantic partner??

Soon we were called back to the family table where the marriage had already been fixed.

You must be wondering whether my fears came true or not?? Sure I’ll tell you!!! but some other time.

And in all these years of my existence, my most romantic partner, my most trust worthy companion, the one with whom I celebrated my dreams and victories; shared my fantasies and ideas and the one who lent me shoulder to lean on in my gloomy days; has been my very own cup of steaming hot ,masala CHAI. And above all, Yes! I truly believe that enjoying tea together is a sign of couple compatibility. Chai has been my secret compatibility test!!

So no wonders that when I finally I decided to reach out to all you beautiful people around the world, it had to be a perfect setting, “You, Me and Tea!”

WELCOME TO CHAI CHAT!!



~Smriti Bhardwaj.